Tuesday, July 22, 2014

and then ...

almost two weeks ago, my brand-new roommates asked me to move out. which makes me look like a terrible roommate (i'm not). it makes me feel bad.

and so i haven't run in two weeks. i've been couch-surfing, working overtime, and apartment hunting.

oh, and getting rid of almost everything i own. it started out intimidating, but now it feels awesome.

and tomorrow is a beach day.

if i get home in time tonight, i'm going to the gym for a run. if not, i'll live. other things took priority for a bit ... but goddamnit i'm nowhere near my goals.

also, the acting thing has some exciting things going on and so i'm busy with that too (more on that later), so even though my personal life is in completely in shambles and i'm broke as all hell, there is at least a silver thread in the lining.

i'm still fighting for better. for my heart. it still aches.

Monday, July 7, 2014

sh!t happens.

i've had some awful, heartachy holidays. too many of them, in fact, in the last few years. i'm not sure why the holidays themselves stick out as being so bad. maybe because of the unique social situations people are in. these past two years have been crazy bad for me in this department, for heartache reasons, and this last weekend was particularly rough. i reached out to friends to keep me sane for the coming week as i try to mentally and emotionally move past the things that hurt me so bad.

so i didn't run this weekend. i called it an early night on the 4th and missed the fireworks. again. i've only seen them once in the four years i've lived in NYC. it sucks, but i needed to be home. (i made a pretty epic irish exit from the party i was at.) i bawled for about an hour on the floor in my bedroom. just disgusting, full-on sobbing. i didn't realize i could produce so many tears. (although, after the past 2.5 years, i should know by now ...) i hadn't cried like that in MONTHS. so, progress? but the rest of the weekend was lonely and sad and sucky.

i got up early today, trying to get a head start on attacking this week. i had a SUPER-productive morning: breakfast, worked an hour from home, watched the end of hellboy (i love these movies) and the today show. then i went to the gym to run.

and had the WORST stitch in my side from the moment i got on the treadmill. i warmed up with a solid 5 minutes of fast walking. it's hot and humid here in NYC, but even in the A/C for whatever reason i was sweating up a storm before i even started running. and then i couldn't run. because my side hurt so bad.

i almost just gave up, got off the treadmill, and went home. but instead i walked it off. i increased the incline, and walked for 30 minutes. and with my heart/lung situation the way it is, incline does probably more to increase my endurance than just running. instead of increasing my length-of-time endurance, i pushed my aerobic capacity. i sweated. i worked. it wasn't the workout i wanted, and it was kind of boring (running can at least be FUN), but i did it. i stuck it out.

now i'm home using my overripe bananas to make banana bread and working a bit more from home before i head to the office later. i'm a little bit dreading the rest of my day, because of reasons that have to do with the office, and the hurt i feel, but i am fighting. i'm trying.

and tomorrow, i have a date with a very attractive irishman. i wish it was tomorrow already.

Friday, July 4, 2014

ach! it's been forever (also, getting back on track).

i moved the last week of april, from brooklyn to queens. i finally switched my gym membership to the planet fitness three blocks from my new house, and went for the first time last night. i ran 30 minutes (with two 1-minute breaks to walk and drink water!) and felt GREAT.

since moving, i've gone for about 3 outdoor runs, but suffered asthma attacks every time (damn sneaky hills) and only finished about 2 miles. i walked a lot each time.

it appears i really need to build my endurance on the treadmill, and not worry about incline or length of run until my endurance has been built up.

i'm running the Tower of Terror 10-Miler in about 12 weeks!! plenty of time to build to that distance (even if i have to walk). i'm building my endurance for the next four weeks (runs at LEAST 3 times a week, for at least 30 minutes) and then will follow a more intense training program till showtime. i'll be going on my first long runs this summer and i'm so psyched!

i was so frustrated at my lack of endurance the past couple months. felt like all the work i'd put in the last couple years had depleted entirely. but not so! running 10 or 12 minutes at a stretch in the gym is still so possible for me! outdoors there are variables i just need to work up to.

a year ago i couldn't run more than 3 to 5 minutes without stopping to walk. now i can (and have!) run 25-30 minutes without stopping. always on a treadmill. but the fact remains that i have SEEN my endurance build, and that is SO freakin encouraging.

next run, TOMORROW! then, BEACH! (it's soggy and gross today in new york.)

happy birthday, murica!

Sunday, April 13, 2014

spring!!!

Today I am wearing my jellies.

I repeat: TODAY I AM WEARING MY JELLIES.



Today I am also going to go for an outdoor run. For the first time in something like six months. We'll see how far I get. Oof.

But Riesling and Game of Thrones await me this evening after I finish work and exercise. YAY.

/ Miri out.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

finding the time

i struggle with finding the time to run.

the issue isn't that i can't finagle a free 30 minutes a few times a week. the issue, throughout the winter, anyway, was the weather -- i joined a gym in january just so i could run, since i refused to outdoors once the weather dropped below 30 degrees -- and with the impending royal family 5k, i made sure i found the time to hit the treadmill at least twice a week, aiming for 3 (i did about an equal amount of weeks of hitting 2 and 3 times a week). i was also editing a 30-minute film, working 39 hours a week (or attempting to), commuting 2 hours (welcome to brooklyn), taking various classes (longsword, pilates), cleaning my pilates studio twice a week, auditioning for other projects, and trying to maintain some kind of social life. in addition to that, there's the regular life stuff everybody deals with: laundry (my laundromat is only open till 9pm, so if i can't be home and make it there by 8, which is basically impossible, not getting laundry done that day), grocery shopping, etc.

since Mythos wrapped, i am still doing work on it here and there -- working with a producer to promote it (i need to finish our EPK ... siiiiiiiiigh), redoing our website, submitting us to various festivals. auditions have picked up in the past couple weeks, suddenly (and awesomely, but also, time-consumingly). i miraculously found an amazing new apartment to move into, so that's something i've made time for (to see it, to meet new roommates) and now have to plan/reserve money for. and since cleaning my pilates studio is an obligation i committed to, i make time for that even when i have to miss class on those days (but i try not to).

i ran once last week. the first time since the 5k.

then i got sick. i was laid up in bed all last sunday, and monday too. 

i also had to knit a prop for a friend who is art directing a cool indie feature in boston (shout-out to chloe, who deserves ALL the success) and i was behind because of a quick trip to boston (unrelatedly) to see one of my best friends in a show (after not seeing her for TWO YEARS) and also because i was delirious in bed with a fever.

yes, that is an anatomical heart. that i knit (almost) entirely without a pattern.
I AM A HANDY LADY. #wifeskills

so now i'm behind on my REGULAR job.

but the weather is now in the 50's. i can actually start running outside again, amazingly. i need to get my ass back in gear and make it happen.

today i shot a scene for a friend's film, then came home and did my first major grocery run in a lonnnng time. because my funds have been absurdly low, consistently, for the past 6 months. i got paid today. i didn't owe anybody money for Mythos. I WENT FUCKING FOOD SHOPPING. i got all sorts of amazing food, PLUS swung by my little local wine shop (i've missed you, sergei's!) and also scored a nice bottle of bourbon. for the home bar i wish i had. so, a day of productivity, but another day wherein i didn't get enough of my office job done. and therefore skipped my planned run for tonight to work.

tomorrow i have to work like 15 hours, plus take my broken computer (it's been broken since mid-february!) to the apple store to get checked out, plus i rented a studio for an hour to rehearse singing for my monday morning callback. how on earth i'm going to squeeze in 15 hours of work is yet to be determined. welcome to EVERY SUNDAY SINCE I CAN REMEMBER.

how do you make time to run?